ADVICE

Mental illness is just that… It is an illness of the brain. I would like to share with you what I learned after researching my own religious beliefs. I hope that you will find comfort in this, as I have.

The author Jane Clayson Johnson in ‘Silent Souls Weeping’, says that many people, “often feel left adrift, uncertain what suicide means for a loved one’s salvation and their own family’s eternal status. The stinging stigma attached to mental illness and suicide aggravates the already intense pain of grief. Questions plague the mind.”

In 2018, my church leaders released a series of videos addressing this very topic and vocalizing a pressing need to do all we can to prevent suicide, to minister to those who have suicidal thoughts or who have attempted suicide, and to support those who are left behind when a loved one does take his or her life.

One of my church leaders, Dale G. Renland, says, “There’s an old sectarian notion that suicide is a sin and that someone who commits suicide is banished to hell forever. That is totally false! I believe that the vast majority of cases will find that these individuals have lived heroic lives and that suicide will not be a defining characteristic of their eternities.”

Jane Clayson Johnson continues, “It is not our place to judge. It is our place to love. It is our place to mourn with those who suffer from the dark feelings of suicidal ideation and those who are left behind when those feelings result in action. This is one of the most difficult losses a family can experience. It should harrow up our deepest feelings of compassion and stir us up from the sidelines to active, truly charitable, and supportive sharing of its crushing burden. There is no place for condemnation. Gossip or shunning. There is room for prevention, and for communication.”

Suicide should not be swept under a rug. Just as it is never good to box up and ignore our feelings, it is never good to keep silent about suicidal thoughts and mental health in general. The notion that talking to someone about their feelings may lead people to act on them has been debunked by a number of studies, as well as by those who have unsuccessfully attempted suicide themselves and are now talking. Talking about suicide can actually help prevent it. Not talking about it, neglecting to talk about it, sends the message that they can’t talk about it. It’s important to talk about feelings of depression, or fantasies about suicide, which can certainly fester inside, if they’re not talking about more openly.

This is what I, Kay, wish someone had said to me before my attempt, “Are you thinking of harming yourself? Are you thinking of suicide?” I would have said yes and that would have opened up a lifesaving dialogue. I believed no one asked because no one knew about my depression and anxiety. Although Lex knew I was struggling, he did not comprehend the seriousness of my mental state. I carefully kept it hidden from everyone.

Never be afraid to ask. If you suspect a loved one may be more depressed than they are letting on and/or may be considering suicide, please ask them. Start a dialogue with them.

Resources

NAMI - National Alliance on Mental Illness - Faith and Spirituality

As we learn more and more about the connections between the mind and body, it becomes clear that spirituality, religion and faith can help some individuals live well with mental health conditions. Some individuals and families turn to faith in times of crisis to help in their recovery while others find that spiritual practices help them continue to manage their mental health.

How Faith Can Help

Some people find that religion and individual spirituality have a positive impact on their physical and mental health.

What Makes A Good Faith Community A Welcoming Community

Each world religion has its own set of ideas and practices. If you grew up in a specific faith and feel comfortable with it, you may already have prayers and rituals that support your health.

If you feel alienated from your faith of origin, you may feel uncertain whether you can benefit from faith. Just as there isn't a downside to learning more about your mental health condition, there's no downside to learning more about religion or spirituality. Learning about a faith doesn't obligate you to follow it and may give you new ideas for how to live with a mental health condition.

If you're looking for a regular place to worship or practice your faith, be alert to how each congregation or community approaches mental health conditions. Some churches view mental illness as a moral failing for which prayer is the only treatment while others maintain active outreach programs for people with mental health conditions. Above all, find a community where you feel welcomed and loved despite your mental health condition. Finding a caring congregation that is accepting and supports your healing journey is key.

https://www.NAMI.org/Your-Journey/Individuals-with-Mental-Illness/Faith-Spirituality

Jewish Nations Action Alliance - Faith, Hope, Life; Celebrating Reasons to Live

Judaism teaches that how people are born and how they die are in God’s hands. Life belongs to God, not to the individual. It is a gift to be treasured. Taking one’s own life is viewed as a serious violation of one’s responsibility to God and society.   

Although Jewish teachings do not condone suicide, Jews tend not to blame people who die by suicide. Instead, they try to understand the death. The suicide is condemned, but not the person. In general, Jews believe that most suicides can be prevented if actions are taken in time—such as giving a person food and water, personal affirmations, and physical comfort, and getting the person the care he or she needs.

https://theactionalliance.org/faith-hope-life/religion-specific-materials/jewish