ADVICE

Over the course of my life, I made sure that only my family and therapist/doctor knew what I was experiencing. I rarely talked about it to anyone else. Much of the time, I really was happy and fun, and when I was struggling and spiraling, I kept it within the boundaries of my home.

After my suicide attempt when I began talking and speaking openly about my illness, my friends were astonished because they rarely saw me as anything but happy and outgoing. They couldn’t believe the inner battle that I had been fighting. There were times when that battle was raging inside but I always had a smile on my face. This proved to be very dangerous for me.

I wasn’t intentionally hiding my inner struggles but I kept thinking I could handle them privately. Because I was high functioning, I was able to continue working and being an active member of my church and community, until one day, I couldn’t. I hope that my story will help those who are likewise struggling internally and putting on a happy face externally to realize they need to address their inner turmoil sooner, rather than later. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s braver than acting like everything is okay, when it’s not.

Resources

The following articles can help you identify if you are struggling with a high functioning mental illness and provide additional resources and advice for you to look into.

This is What High Functioning Depression Looks Like

https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/this-is-what-high-functioning-depression-looks-like

High Functioning Mental Health Disorders

https://www.mentalhealthcenter.org/high-functioning-mental-health-disorders/